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Dads: Should You Stay For Your Kids Even If You Are Extremely Unhappy?
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Lee Harvey Pozzwald Offline
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Post: #101
RE: Dads: Should You Stay For Your Kids Even If You Are Extremely Unhappy?
^^ no offense but you sound like you've never lived in a small american town where people have very different values.

As someone who was raised my entire life in a small town, I assure you that things work a little differently in rural America.

Are the people in some of these places hypocritical, yes, a good percentage of people are hypocritical. But that is the case anywhere.

My comment about single mothers in Latin America is 100 percent valid, I don't know why people ignore this fact about latin america.

Having money in Latin America is not the easiest thing and that is why many avoid expensive phones, jewelry, and have guards walk their kids to school because of all the robberies.
03-04-2020 05:26 PM
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kel Offline
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Post: #102
RE: Dads: Should You Stay For Your Kids Even If You Are Extremely Unhappy?
(03-04-2020 04:25 PM)Lee Harvey Pozzwald Wrote:  ^^speaking of US culture in one broad stroke. It depends on the part of the country you're in...

The US is not one monolithic culture, and with the rise of the internet, cable television, etc, there is despite all indications to the contrary a very strong christian culture.

Take for example the South, way more religous than the northeast, with basically half of people going to church every week.

Look at Colombia, most the women there are single mothers, despite the country's catholic heritage.

There is no escaping the export of american culture, unless perhaps your residence is in North Korea.

My firm opinion is that OP should fight for custody if they split. If she takes the kid out of the country, or they split overseas, the system will be biased towards the native mother.

Watch this vid, the guy in question imported a japanese wife, had a kid and provided for them. One day she left with the kid. He will never get his kid back because SHE LEFT the US. This guy makes 500k a year and because that kid got on the plane with the mother to japan, he will never see his kid in the US again.




That guy did eventually at least see his kid again, I don't know what the agreement will be long term though.

I have some sympathy for him, obviously, because gynocracy, but I watched one follow up vid (I'd never heard of this guy until this happened) and in it someone asked him if he was going to take legal action or do anything of the sort and he said "I've thought about it, but I decided that it might be traumatic for my child", and I was just blown away. He thinks it'll be traumatic for his child for their father to try to be in their life? He thinks it won't be traumatic for the child to find out that their father just let their mother run off with the kid and didn't bother fighting to get his kid back and just went on with his yuppie douchebag life and bought himself another Tesla?
03-04-2020 07:10 PM
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Lee Harvey Pozzwald Offline
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Post: #103
RE: Dads: Should You Stay For Your Kids Even If You Are Extremely Unhappy?
^^Obviously the guy is a bit beta and doesn't realize how the system is stacked against him, maybe on the spectrum as is typical in IT, but so many guys are these days. In other words, he was doing everything he could to "provide", I have no doubt, but that probably made him easy to walk over for the wife.

What we should consider is the level of indoctrination this guy, and others, went through, via schooling, living in a libtard state like California, and a lack of male role models which often manifests itself through a domineering mother that feminizes the kid. You have to believe he's so deep in the system (being in diversity-central in California) he has no clue how things really work. It must be the case he went through mandated training at Google and Facebook that told him to believe all women, and things of that nature.

I feel bad for him really do. And he said the whole affair was destroying him. He doesn't realize their is a frame, or, inner-game issue here that many men in similar circumstances share.

I will reiterate: most men have no idea what can of worms they're opening when they marry a foreign bride. The women will pick up and leave for whatever emotional "justification", and when back in the home country, of course the court system is going to show preference towards her--especially in a xenophobic country like Japan. But, believe it or not, the courts operate this way in many places, some cases I can think of (that are well-known) are Russia, the Gulf States and Brazil.

Why do the courts allow women to hold the children hostage? I don't know, other than that most court systems are clearly biased towards women.
03-04-2020 07:30 PM
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Magnus Stout Offline
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Post: #104
RE: Dads: Should You Stay For Your Kids Even If You Are Extremely Unhappy?
In answer to the OP’s last post:

- Who? Definitely get at least two consultations with lawyers.
- What? You would be fighting to establish joint legal custody (sole is unlikely initially).
- Where? Keep things in the US. Second, would be any other signatory to the Hague Convention on Child Abductions.
- When? File soon after the child is born in your state. That state will have a UCCJEA jurisdiction.
- Why? Because state marriage will lead to divorce under these circumstances.

You will absolutely get divorce raped by that woman if you pay for the “privilege” of a state marriage. She sounds like a BPD or narcissist—BAD NEWS!

You can still work to co-parent with her initially. Long road ahead for you.
(This post was last modified: 03-05-2020 11:20 PM by Magnus Stout.)
03-05-2020 11:19 PM
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Rob Banks Offline
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Post: #105
RE: Dads: Should You Stay For Your Kids Even If You Are Extremely Unhappy?
↑ Why should OP not at least try to make it work with his child's mother?

OP did seem open to the possibility, so it's not like it's totally hopeless with her.

He can always separate or divorce if things don't work out. Is he supposed to give up on creating a healthy family environment for his child out of fear that this woman will use divorce laws to take his money? I would say trying to provide a healthy home to raise your child is worth the financial risk.

Of course, some people might say OP should live with this woman but not get officially married (so as to avoid divorce rape) but that would be fornication and it would make his child a bastard, so I'm pretty sure the Christian forum members would advise against that.
03-05-2020 11:26 PM
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Magnus Stout Offline
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Post: #106
RE: Dads: Should You Stay For Your Kids Even If You Are Extremely Unhappy?
OP sounds like he just let his small head do the thinking (rather than his big head).

- If he wants to continue being intimate with her, then he needs to marry.

- If not, then he should help raise & support his child but with his own household.

The OP indicates that he has trouble keeping frame with her & that she seems to suffer from 1 or more mental disorders. Those are very bad omens. Look, some women refuse to submit (making Godly & successful marriage impossible).

If you had the culture & tools to discipline wives as we did in the past you could make this marginal case work. Not today. This person sounds like the evil women Proverbs warns of: Proverbs 2:18 (death); 2:19 (the way of no return); 5:5 (death and hell); 5:23 (death); 6:26 (brought to ruin); 6:29 (guilty); 6:32 (his own soul is destroyed); 9:18 (death and hell). You could lose your house, savings, retirement & be forced to pay her like you would a child (alimony/spousal support). Not to mention her ongoing psychological warfare & need to be the victim.

Sorry, but no thanks. This is a suboptimal situation. Trying to bootstrap the ideal to this will just lead to frustration.
(This post was last modified: 03-06-2020 08:27 AM by Magnus Stout.)
03-06-2020 08:05 AM
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Rob Banks
Samseau Offline
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Post: #107
RE: Dads: Should You Stay For Your Kids Even If You Are Extremely Unhappy?
Rob, I get where you're coming from, but you can't make a wife out of a bitch. She isn't going to care enough to make it work, and the child will grow up seeing the mother abuse the father all the time. It would be terrible for the child.

This is why people say to get married before having kids, to avoid horrible mothers like these.

The OP entered a situation he cannot win. No matter what, your child will suffer but it is not the end. Pray to Christ to watch after your child and he will see it through. Get a good lawyer, and do your best to raise your child in sub-optimal yet sufficient conditions. I also come from a divorced home, and while it is very damaging, it is not the worst of evils out there. I am still grateful for all the things I have.

Contributor at Return of Kings. You can follow me on Gab.
03-06-2020 10:31 PM
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thedream Offline
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Post: #108
RE: Dads: Should You Stay For Your Kids Even If You Are Extremely Unhappy?
Thank you for your input here from your personal experience @Samseau

@Rob Banks - mainly that's the position I have had the whole time. Try my hardest to make it work for my child.

@Magnus Stout - thanks for the advice. Noted.
(This post was last modified: 03-06-2020 10:41 PM by thedream.)
03-06-2020 10:40 PM
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