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I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
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Husar Offline
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Post: #1
I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
Can you guys help me?

Recently I'm feeling a lot of aggression, bitterness and overall I honestly think women are dumb. I've got a feeling that they try to dominate me and proof that they're right no matter what. I've got the feeling they're self-righteous and want to make me feel and look dumb. Sometimes I feel like if it would be a XII century I would behave like a barbarian towards them.

What is wrong with me? What's going on? I don't want to hate ladies, I wanna have sex with them! Am I changing into an incel, or just a sad dude? Do you guys have any advices? Have you felt something similar? I recently literally hate women. I think it might be because month ago I had some situation with women and left it with anger.

I feel horrible.
Please help.Huh
02-02-2020 07:15 PM
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Chrome Offline
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Post: #2
RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
Pray.
02-02-2020 07:36 PM
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Sombro Offline
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Post: #3
RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
02-02-2020 07:43 PM
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Tactician Offline
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Post: #4
RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
From here: https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-37819.html

(07-04-2014 02:14 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  Something that I've been feeling a lot on the forum recently (and not only here) is that a lot of men seem very unhappy and negative about life, the way things are, and the future. Not everyone and at all times, of course -- there are also guys who are happy, energetic, confident in the present and optimistic about the future. But there is a surprising amount of near-desperation that shows itself in all sorts of ways and in different places.

I think that a lot of this frustration, unhappiness, and near-desperation comes from a single source: men are very unhappy and despondent about the whole part of life that consists of their relations with women. And because that is such an important part of a man's life -- often the most important one -- this unhappiness and frustration stains the way guys feel about life in general and about the world, even where it comes to things that are completely unrelated to women.

The frustration that I'm talking about is very broadly that men are unhappy with the way women are. I don't mean just guys that have trouble getting laid -- of course these men are generally unhappy and frustrated about that. But even men who have some degree of sexual success are frustrated by how unsatisfying their interactions with women often are, how hard they have to work in return for relatively little. And even ultimate players and super-alphas are often unhappy and disappointed with the way women are -- yes, they get sex and worship from them with ease, but that very ease and the idiocy of that worship is something that can cause consternation in a thoughtful and decent man.

To put it simply, men just want women to be nice, sweet and feminine, and not smartphone-besotted psychos. It seems like not too much to ask, right? But apparently, it is too much. And the ever-present (and growing) gap between that simple wish, and the very different reality, causes an untold amount of misery and frustration.

Why is the gap so acute now? I believe that the basic nature of women has always been the same, and has not fundamentally changed. However, social conditions are such that they bring out the worst qualities in women. One can speculate about the reasons for this and how things are likely to go in the future, and this has been discussed endlessly and ad nauseam here and elsewhere. But in some sense the reasons don't really matter. Things are what they are right now; no one knows the future, but everyone has to deal with the present.

In response to this reality men have developed various strategies, have improved their game and lifestyle, and some have traveled abroad in search of a better situation with women. That's a lot of what this forum is about, and I'm all for that. Many of these strategies are useful and effective and should be pursued with vigor. However, when it comes to the world of eros, the truth is that for many if not most men this world remains a difficult and frustrating one. Game, lifestyle and travel can and do improve the situation, but for most men it still remains a source of unhappiness and disappointment.

Now, what is my point in saying all this?

It is simply this: while doing what they can to improve their odds and position in the sexual market, men should recognize that the situation is a difficult one and accept this. At the same time, men should understand that the entirety of life is not limited to the world of eros and relations with women. Don't let the fact that the world of women is so tough stain the way you feel about life in general. There are vast other parts of life that can be enjoyed and that are endless sources of interest and pleasure. Don't miss out on life as a whole just because a part of life -- even a major part -- is fraught with problems and difficulties.

When I look around me, I see a world that has never been more interesting and more amazing. The Internet is the most wondrous invention in the history of mankind; it allows us to access a million libraries of Alexandria in the palm of our hand. Life has never been more safer or more physically comfortable; there have never been greater opportunities for men to live a healthy lifestyle, to keep their bodies fit and their minds sharp. There are so many things to be interested in, to develop knowledge or even expertise about, to simply enjoy and be entertained by, that it's an embarrassment of riches at every moment. How terrible, even tragic, it would be to miss out on all this just because a part of life -- even a major and important part -- is relatively difficult, frustrating and often unrewarding.

I posted this video by Jack LaLanne in the 4th of July thread and I want to repost it here again, because he says something there that is so profound. He talks about a friend and student of his who had a financial problem, and because of this problem, he abandoned all of his hard-won good habits and let his body and mind go to seed. Then he realized how foolish that was and reacquired his good habits. In the end, he still had the problem -- but he didn't let the problem stain his entire life. As Jack says, if you have a problem that cannot be completely solved, accept that and be happy with the problem -- rather than have the problem and compound it by being miserable in every other way.

(old video)

Again. Accepting the fact that there is a real problem with women does not mean that you do nothing about it: you always do the best you can in terms of game, lifestyle, travel etc. However, for many men the problem can be reduced but not completely solved. That should be accepted -- and men should not let the presence of this problem prevent them from enjoying this various, amazing, and ever-changing world in every other way, or distort their confidence in their lives and their sense of future and of possibility. Nor should they let this frustration lead them to be seduced by simplistic and reductive ideologies that offer them momentary relief and the promise of "meaning" but at the terrible price of closing off their minds to the true complexity, variety, and subtlety of life as it is. We have but one life to live and not everything in it will always go well -- but that is no reason not to live it to the fullest in every sense of the word.

I tend to run into a lot of very sweet women. You may want to see where you're meeting these chicks and take a hard look at the vibe you're putting out as well and try to change those things up.
02-02-2020 07:54 PM
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Athanasius Offline
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RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
Wounded pride can cause this. Is humility needed? As a Christian, when I really examine my own sinfulness, it lets me deal with others with a certain forbearance and charity that comes from realizing that I'm nothing but a miserable beggar before the throne myself.
02-02-2020 08:21 PM
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No More Mr. Soy Boy Offline
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Post: #6
RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
It's a stage. Pretty sure most guys here have had a period like that in life, it's just about trying to reach acceptance as soon as possible. Try meditation though, it made me a lot calmer person...

Look up the five stages of grief or the five stages of the red pill if you so will.

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

By the way, it's not called "sex" here anymore, it's called making sweet love. ❤️
(This post was last modified: 02-02-2020 08:54 PM by No More Mr. Soy Boy.)
02-02-2020 08:52 PM
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kel Offline
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Post: #7
RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
MGTOW is not something a man should do as a lifestyle, but taking a year off from women, MGTOW-style, can definitely be a good idea.
02-02-2020 10:32 PM
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eradicator Offline
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Post: #8
RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
Save up. Take a trip to Colombia and SEA. Then save up, and take a trip to Brazil. Then save up, take a trip to Eastern Europe.

The problem isn't you, it living in the USA. Also, you can try dating foreign women that are living in the USA, they can be a bit better.

Team yoga pants
[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UoeQOC-5iw&t=143s[/video]
02-02-2020 11:20 PM
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Sherman Offline
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Post: #9
RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
Here is a meditation that gets to the heart of the matter.

Intro

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXGWMK9Kla8

Be Still & Know Meditation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5UHvRtvV1c&t=2s

Discussion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67c76ONqdvA

Rico... Sauve....
02-03-2020 12:42 AM
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y2k Away
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Post: #10
RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
(02-02-2020 07:15 PM)Husar Wrote:  Can you guys help me?

Recently I'm feeling a lot of aggression, bitterness and overall I honestly think women are dumb. I've got a feeling that they try to dominate me and proof that they're right no matter what. I've got the feeling they're self-righteous and want to make me feel and look dumb. Sometimes I feel like if it would be a XII century I would behave like a barbarian towards them.

What is wrong* with me? What's going on? I don't want* to hate ladies, I wanna have sex with them! Am I changing into an incel, or just a sad dude? Do you guys have any advices? Have you felt something similar? I recently literally hate women. I think it might be because month ago I had some situation with women and left it with anger.

I feel horrible.
Please help.Huh

Hi forum brother,

You need proper advice from multiple people who know what they are doing and understand your situation. This is a pseudo-anonymous forum, so be aware of that when you take advice from here. The Manosphere is a really bi-polar place.

*You have identified it as a problem and have rejected it. This is good! You have demonstrated that you are better than that.

It looks to me that you are in a toxic environment and have been taking in a lot of negative emotional experiences. It also seems that the Manosphere has amplified the toxicity by confirming some of these experiences and by rationalizing and explaining them by using some philosophy in human nature. Do not underestimate the capacity of these to create phobias and other mental/emotional problems, especially the bad ideas. One can be tough against bad experiences but bad philosophy can really bend a man out of shape.

The behaviour you have described is clearly wrong but not all women (or men) are like that. Some are good and have good beliefs in traditional roles, others have a chip on their shoulder and have something to prove, some are even worse and openly invert values. Same can be true for men as well.

My only advice is to get out of the toxic environment if you can and detox in a good environment. Build faith in good beliefs and do good. Surround yourself with good, wise friends who will advice you on righteousness and forbearance.

Do not forget to work on yourself and better yourself as a man and attract good and moral people into your life.

This comes to mind: A lesson from the Qur'an on Time

It took time to get here, it will take some time to get out of here.

A Datasheet on Islam - A description of the religion
Islamic ethics - Old Testament like (Mosaic Laws etc.)
Abrahamic Monotheism - An account from both Islamic and Jewish traditions
Short Chapters in Qur'an - A list of chapters between 5 and 30 minutes long
02-03-2020 06:01 AM
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AntoniusofEfa Offline
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RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
Work out at least 3 times a week doing weightlifting.

Also, have a social activity where women are going to hang out at, like Salsa or ballroom dance classes. Invest a few thousand dollars in quality clothes and shoes that suit your lifestyle and make you look dapper. Get a new hairstyle if the current one is not working for you. Develop a taste for literature, wine, art in any of its forms.

Like to teach? Volunteer at a foster care facility and teach kids whatever you are good at. Maybe you will get more satisfaction in learning a new language? Or a new hobby like Rowing or Sailing?

I could go on and on.
02-03-2020 06:24 AM
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Paracelsus Offline
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Post: #12
RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
Stop trolling a forum in which discussion of casual sex or hookups is no longer permitted.

Remissas, discite, vivet.
God save us from people who mean well. -storm
02-03-2020 08:03 AM
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mehdreamer Offline
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Post: #13
RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
(02-02-2020 10:32 PM)kel Wrote:  MGTOW is not something a man should do as a lifestyle, but taking a year off from women, MGTOW-style, can definitely be a good idea.

What if you are left with no other options ?
My SMV is not top 10% I only attract old broken roasties single moms or very unattractive girls..

I met last year a cute 39 year old girl..at first I thought she was 32 because she looked young..but then when she told me 39 I decided to not continue seeing her...

She was very submissive and displayed many qualities I appreciate in a woman...

I think I personally would qualify as VolCel (Voluntary Celibate) and MGTOW is something I am thinking of more and more because I am left with no good options..
02-03-2020 06:55 PM
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gringoed Offline
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Post: #14
RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
You need some positive relationships with women to realize that your perceptions now are skewed. There are many amazing women out there, but you need to find them effectively. If you feel that women are dumb, try online dating where you filter by level of education. If you feel that women are mean, don't meet any at bars, instead meet them at church or social functions. Actively change your environment, change your patterns, and you'll change your perceptions.
02-04-2020 12:27 PM
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kazimierzdabrowski Offline
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Post: #15
RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
From the 16....
III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority

Internalize that and observe where your bitterness is coming from.
02-04-2020 04:08 PM
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Fender_Bender Offline
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RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
I feel ya man... I have noticed some of these negative feelings in myself recently that come and go. Yesterday at the gym was a stark example. The gym is about 50/50 men/women and almost all of the women are wearing nearly transparent spandex leggings/pants that show all the contours of their legs, ass, and pussy coupled with tops that barely cover more than a tank top or bikini. These women are doing all kinds of squats and exercises on all fours like they are training to get gorilla fucked. Back in earlier days this would have excited me "oh man look at all the eye candy!", but at this point, and at almost a 4 year dry spell, I'm just disgusted.

These women know exactly what they are doing, and coupled with the conventional wisdom of "don't harass women at the gym, people just want to do their workout," they are essentially torturing all of the men there that don't fall into the "chad/alpha" category. Look at what pleasures exist that you can't have. I have to force myself not to look at them as my dry spell/nofap eyes are inevitably drawn to everything on display. I have seen sluttier outfits every time I go to the gym midday on a Wednesday than the bar crowd walking the streets on a weekend at midnight.

I'm trying my best not to be bitter. These feelings come and go. It's just ridiculous that the gym, a place where people are supposed to be focused on their own self improvement, has turned into just another place for women to attention whore and look like total sluts.

"Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in"
(This post was last modified: 02-28-2020 12:18 PM by Fender_Bender.)
02-28-2020 12:17 PM
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Deusleveult Offline
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Post: #17
RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
You need a break from society for some time.
I recommend walking the camino Santiago for a month or renting a cabin alone in the woods or the mountains for a few weeks.
The point is being alone in nature away from all the distractions and bullshit of society.
It will clear up your mind and help you know what's really important.
If you're not into complete hermit mode, the Camino Santiago can bring a good balance of being in nature all day, being active by walking, pushing yourself physically and mentally (it is challenging believe me), and socializing with other people that are also in the same boat a you are.
I walked the Camino Santiago after a small crisis in my life with lot's of pent up anger and frustration and it helped me a lot.
God bless.
02-28-2020 01:46 PM
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Celibate Warrior21 Offline
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Post: #18
RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
You're not an Incel. You just need to get a life.

Work out, exercise dialy, Work on your hobbies, socialize, Volunteer, meditate and pray and have a mission or purpose.

God should be number 1 and your mission and purpose comes second, then women and whatever else comes third.

A woman can sense desperation from a man a mile away. If you rely on validation from a woman as your source of strength then that is not the way. You need to find that validation from a higher source. That is the way of manliness, then your life will be complete.
03-01-2020 11:34 AM
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AntoniusofEfa Offline
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Post: #19
RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
Stack cash and pay for sex if you have to. Unless you are in the top 20% in terms of looks or status, you are not interesting to the modern women. This is the cold hard truth.
03-02-2020 05:49 PM
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Magnus Stout Offline
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Post: #20
RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
Lots of good advice here (ex: make your mission your mission, not a woman). As noted, women can sense weakness & desperation. I don’t know enough to offer you specifics, other than (as mentioned) become a more interesting person (hobbies, volunteering, etc..).

Anger is futile (& counterproductive). Forgive those people who hurt you & move on to better things. Taking up an artistic hobby (photography, drawing, painting, sculpting) can help you to see beauty in more places. Plus, it can be a good place to meet women.
(This post was last modified: 03-02-2020 06:26 PM by Magnus Stout.)
03-02-2020 06:25 PM
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STG Offline
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Post: #21
RE: I'm feeling like I'm changing into incel
The anger and bitterness you feel is from living in this unnatural society we have. You can't change women. Don't hate them have pity for them the road they are taking doesn't end well for them.

You also can't change society but you can change your life.

Following your nature is the key to happiness. Men are programmed to explore and conquer.

Develop your interests and find something you are passionate in to master.

Learn how to ride a motorcycle and learn how to ride one fast. This is inherently dangerous, but men have always participated in the dangerous. From tribal warfare to hunting dangerous game these are the purposes of the masculine.

Leave Calhoun's Mice Utopia

Quote:At the peak population, most mice spent every living second in the company of hundreds of other mice. They gathered in the main squares, waiting to be fed and occasionally attacking each other. Few females carried pregnancies to term, and the ones that did seemed to simply forget about their babies. They'd move half their litter away from danger and forget the rest. Sometimes they'd drop and abandon a baby while they were carrying it.

The few secluded spaces housed a population Calhoun called, "the beautiful ones." Generally guarded by one male, the females—and few males—inside the space didn't breed or fight or do anything but eat and groom and sleep. When the population started declining the beautiful ones were spared from violence and death, but had completely lost touch with social behaviors, including having sex or caring for their young.
03-02-2020 08:59 PM
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