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How do you Red Pill a family member?
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blacknwhitespade Offline
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Post: #1
How do you Red Pill a family member?
Ever watch a family member or close friend walk right into a motherfucking buzz saw?? Where can I start? So, my brother is a mega blue pill white knight. Despite being young, childless, and attractive/successful, he's dated several single moms, including a brief/failed marriage to one. Now, just a year out of his divorce, he is about to marry again, this time by eloping with his controlling single-mom girlfriend of 6 months. I have not met his new gf, but I can tell this one has him by the balls. Hardcore. She even reads his text messages and DMs. She has also gotten into his head that our mom is to blame for many of his life issues and is "controlling" because she does not like my brother dating yet another single mother. She called our mom last week and went on a cursing rant at her followed by several texts basically telling my mom and dad to fuck off, that they have to go through her if they want to talk to their own son from now on. My brother has invited me to the wedding, but I am not going on principle after his gf being so horribly disrespectful of an elder.

My brother and I have had a close, friendly relationship for most of our lives. I recently bluntly told him about his pattern in previous relationships, that he tolerates nonsense from women and has a white knight complex. I am at least going to decline his invitation and advise him to research divorce laws in his state. I realize most people learn their lessons from the school of hard knocks. That said, any other information, advice, or small piece of wisdom I can impart on my bro that might lead him to the red pill??

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12-09-2019 07:03 PM
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Cobra Offline
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Post: #2
RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
I know he's your brother but.....

If he's going to tolerate disrespect to his own parents from a girl he's known for far less time, he's not worth saving, yet....

Best thing you can do is to tell him he has a choice: her or family. Even if he chooses her, don't disown him but be firm that you don't tolerate it. It's likely she's all about her and will screw him over. At that time he will come to you. By then he will already be red pilled.

Let him get there on his own after telling him your views. There's no unique way to say this that will make it better.

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(This post was last modified: 12-09-2019 07:13 PM by Cobra.)
12-09-2019 07:13 PM
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D'Kora Koloth Offline
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Post: #3
RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
Most people have to learn lessons through their own experiences. It sounds like he might have some self worth issues, thinking a controlling single mother is the best he can get. Are you an older or younger brother? Can you think of any instances that might have caused him feeling this way? I doubt there's anything you can do about it, as these things are an internal, personal battle.

My advice is to lead by example and ask probing questions only when he brings up the topic. If he mentions his girlfriend going through his phone messages, ask him if he thinks that's appropriate in a healthy relationship. Get the wheels spinning this way and hopefully he'll catch on. Best of luck to you.
12-09-2019 07:41 PM
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antman333 Offline
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Post: #4
RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
I have a family member in his mid 30's. Virgin, no idea how to interact with women or people in general. Dresses terribly, etc etc. I've tried countless times to offer advice but I just come across as a dickhead every time. I stopped trying a while ago.

What they said up above. When the student is ready the teacher will appear, or something like that.
12-09-2019 08:43 PM
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PapayaTapper Away
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Post: #5
RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
Ive never punched a girl but Im not certain I wouldn't if some chick told my parents to "fuck off".

I understand youre here trying to help your brother and all due respect OP but he sounds like his scrotum is empty. You cant redpill him.

But dont worry, that ballbuster will. Eventually. The only question is how long and how painful will her lessons be on him.

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-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


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12-09-2019 09:23 PM
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blacknwhitespade Offline
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RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
(12-09-2019 07:41 PM)DKora Koloth Wrote:  Most people have to learn lessons through their own experiences. It sounds like he might have some self worth issues, thinking a controlling single mother is the best he can get. Are you an older or younger brother? Can you think of any instances that might have caused him feeling this way? I doubt there's anything you can do about it, as these things are an internal, personal battle.

My advice is to lead by example and ask probing questions only when he brings up the topic. If he mentions his girlfriend going through his phone messages, ask him if he thinks that's appropriate in a healthy relationship. Get the wheels spinning this way and hopefully he'll catch on. Best of luck to you.


I am the older brother. He has always been a mellow/friendly guy, easily able to make friends, but that's also sort of his achilies heel - he befriended a lot of losers in high school and has always aimed low when it comes to women, perhaps on par with some of the guys he was friends with when he became interested in girls. He's moved on to a successful career and better friends, but his taste in women remains the same. Good tip about the probing questions, to continue telling him my views. That's the best I can do for him at this point.

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12-11-2019 01:07 AM
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RWIsrael Offline
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Post: #7
RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
Tough situation mate. Is there anyone else he would listen to?

When I was younger (and stupider), if my know-it-all older brother told me the best thing to do is X, I would do Y just to show I can get by without his condescending help, even if I knew he was always right.

I would suggest to let your brother make his own mistakes and learn from them as long as the family isn't affected (ie the woman has gambling debts or brings drug dealers to your home) but let him know that certain behaviour is not tolerated.
12-11-2019 05:30 AM
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gework Offline
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Post: #8
RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
This sounds a lot like a guy I know.

His worst relationship was with a woman ten years older than him who would be unlikely to have any children again. She ended their relationship four times and he took her back every time. The worst part of it is that he started learning her native language, which he had absolutely no need to learn. This woman put her hand on my knee, in a way I presume let me know she was open to upgrades on the side. And I presumed she found the best sperm donor she could, having already found there are a sea of beta simps to pick up the pieces.

I asked this guy about single mothers, saying I think that it brings shame on you to be with one. I asked why he would be with one. His answer was because "I'm a kind person."

From observing him I've noted he has a very close relationship with his mother, who babied him. But she was hot and cold with him. So he learned how to get her attention. I've seen this guy start behaving like a weird excitable baby around women he wants to put his "mediocre cock" (his words) in. Meanwhile the father chases his attention with offers of cash. In short his parents inferred to him male attention was cheap and you parade around like a cute little boy to get female attention.

From my deductions it seems this is the primary driver behind the soy boy phenomena - men who have learned and refused to unlearn being a cute, sweet boy will get you female attention.

This is very deep wiring and thus is difficult to break.
12-11-2019 08:57 AM
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NoMoreTO Offline
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Post: #9
RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
This is a tough situation. I definitely have guys who I would like to red pill or at least bring them into a non red pill masculine balance. Not every guy needs a red pill, but it looks like your brother may get a big red pill as mentioned above.

As a practical approach, I think not attending the wedding is the respectful decision. If your parents attend and ask you to attend than you should reconsider attending - for their sake, but hopefully they are not going to the wedding either.

Perhaps you should be a little more upfront with the woman. Use your knowledge of game to put yourself in a masculine role in front of her, see if you can get her compliance in this way, and demonstrate this to your brother through the way she treats you with respect, as opposed to him. Since he is such a White Knight, he might appreciate you asking to speak with her, to see what can be worked out. Working something out would be a difficult thing, as she is in full rebellion. But even seeing you stand firm, speak to her, and walk away may be an example that he will want to emulate. Right now, if you are not even meeting her, and only speaking to him on the side, he might not believe a man will stand up to a woman. For instance, he might just think that you are lucky getting compliant women. My 2 Cents, Do what you think is right. Good luck

For professing themselves to be wise, they became fools. Rom 1:22
12-11-2019 09:34 AM
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WombRaider Offline
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Post: #10
RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
(12-11-2019 09:34 AM)NoMoreTO Wrote:  Working something out would be a difficult thing, as she is in full rebellion.

This is an interesting turn of phrase. Do you feel that she's rebelling specifically against her boyfriend, or do you mean it as more of a life phase?

Many times, this type of woman chooses a man based on his ability to provide, and has no attraction to him. She is looking for a guy to push around and extract resources from. The kind of guy that truly gives her tingles is a very rough character indeed.

At some level she hates the beta simp that she depends on. So she treats him with massive disrespect.

This woman will cheat on the OP's brother.
12-11-2019 11:44 AM
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NoMoreTO Offline
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RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
(12-11-2019 11:44 AM)WombRaider Wrote:  
(12-11-2019 09:34 AM)NoMoreTO Wrote:  Working something out would be a difficult thing, as she is in full rebellion.

This is an interesting turn of phrase. Do you feel that she's rebelling specifically against her boyfriend, or do you mean it as more of a life phase?

Many times, this type of woman chooses a man based on his ability to provide, and has no attraction to him. She is looking for a guy to push around and extract resources from. The kind of guy that truly gives her tingles is a very rough character indeed.

At some level she hates the beta simp that she depends on. So she treats him with massive disrespect.

This woman will cheat on the OP's brother.

It's a good point. How can she be in rebellion to a guy she never really submits to. So she is in rebellion against the natural order, he began dating her when she was already like this. So because she is in rebellion she will not have a good relationship. She should be humble and thankful for the guy who is being a White knight at the very least. She should be thanking the parents and heaping praise on them, that their son is saving her, that she is turning from her past.

I am sure there are cases of positive relationships with a Woman who is divorced with a Kid. This I don't think is it. I agree, it seems likely she will cheat, which will be bad for the Brother. But it's not a good thing for her either.

I would describe SJWs, feminists as in rebellion.

For professing themselves to be wise, they became fools. Rom 1:22
12-11-2019 11:57 AM
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hkhathaj Offline
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Post: #12
RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
Strong relationship helps you red pilling him. If it does not work out now then I think the best you can do is to focus on your relationship to your brother. Try to organize time to spend together. Improve your connection. Maybe it is best not to attack him for a time. Get close to him and wait for the next occasion. That will come inevitably: having a stable relationship with that wammen is almost impossible.
12-12-2019 08:39 AM
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Batman_ Offline
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Post: #13
RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
Like others have said, there's not much you can do. Once someone is already that deep into a "relationship" like that, their head is so full of horseshit - lies, rationalizations, and general chaos, that trying to talk sense into them at that point is futile.

I'd let this thing run its course, and maybe he'll finally see the light. That's all you can really hope for. It continually amazes me how otherwise intelligent men can be so unfathomably blind to women's behavior. Some never really figure it out.

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(This post was last modified: 12-12-2019 09:47 AM by Batman_.)
12-12-2019 09:47 AM
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RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
Thinking about this again, I would also try to establish now when you see him, whether it is going to play squash once a month together, or a yearly fishing trip. That way you can maintain your relationship with him and perhaps guide him along the way. Like others have said, the strength of your relationship will be important. I agree, but with a guy like this they are so set in their path that it's hard to pull them out until their face gets smashed up against the cold hard truth.

For professing themselves to be wise, they became fools. Rom 1:22
12-12-2019 10:43 AM
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Kid Twist Offline
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RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
The Red Pill is very similar to the Holy Spirit, forgive me for making the comparison, but it's a truth thing. We can play a role as those surrounding someone, of course, but ultimately the soil has to be fertile, humbled, or allow the truth to come in. The truth is always there knocking on the door, sometimes guys like us bludgeon the confused person and that can be detrimental too (we do it out of frustration), but remember that people have to experience to "know". In this day and age especially, people aren't raised to easily perceive these things; there are bad families, deception, propaganda in school, emotional appeals, etc.

Also remember that there are some people that will never accept the truth. They are all capable, but some are called and will refuse. Sad, but true.
(This post was last modified: 12-16-2019 12:04 PM by Kid Twist.)
12-16-2019 12:04 PM
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blacknwhitespade Offline
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RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
UPDATE:

So, it's quite a bit worse than I thought. My brother sent a series of messages to our parents, blaming them for many of his problems, saying they were terrible parents, etc. He has never dumped on them like this before, always had a good relationship with them, they were good parents imo. He also got into a major argument and had a falling out with his best guy friend of 10 years. I texted him and called for a truce if she would apologize to our parents, but they refused. He's going to church with her (must be one of these softy suburban Mc-churches) and started coming at me with the "don't judge, we've all sinned" feminist Christianese yada yada. He/she think me, my parents, and his best friend were judgmental of her from day one since she's a single mom. We all asked him how/when were we judgmental? He won't give a specific answer, other than "judgmental questions" my mom/dad had about her when they started dating. I told him to protect himself and research no-fault divorce laws, and he just responded "why do I need to protect myself? Marriage is a beautiful thing, sorry to hear it's just about laws and contracts to you". He's not responding to my messages anymore. So, within 6 months of meeting a girl, my brother has pushed his parents, brother, and best friend spectacularly out of his life. She and her daughter have moved in with him and they're legally married now. I can tell by his texts that he's majorly cucked by the Churchianity stuff: "She's the best Christian I've ever met" and "I'm lucky she wants anything to do with me". Puke

So, there it is. Both he and she are not communicating with me anymore, so there's nothing else I can do besides let this run it's course.
Also, one more tidbit: his friend he had the falling out with got a phone call from his girlfriend 2 months after they'd been dating to introduce herself, she told my brother's friend that she was secretly trying to get pregnant by my brother! Evil

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(This post was last modified: 02-13-2020 07:32 PM by blacknwhitespade.)
02-13-2020 07:22 PM
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Vladimir Poontang Offline
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RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
Would you consider showing him this thread?

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

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02-14-2020 04:58 AM
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PapayaTapper Away
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RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
Like I said:

(12-09-2019 09:23 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Ive never punched a girl but Im not certain I wouldn't if some chick told my parents to "fuck off".

I understand youre here trying to help your brother and all due respect OP but he sounds like his scrotum is empty. You cant redpill him.

But dont worry, that ballbuster will. Eventually. The only question is how long and how painful will her lessons be on him.

Id focus on your parents and how theyre doing with all of this. Tell them its not their fault.

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
02-14-2020 07:01 AM
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Aboulia Offline
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RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
(12-16-2019 12:04 PM)Kid Twist Wrote:  The Red Pill is very similar to the Holy Spirit, forgive me for making the comparison, but it's a truth thing. We can play a role as those surrounding someone, of course, but ultimately the soil has to be fertile, humbled, or allow the truth to come in. The truth is always there knocking on the door, sometimes guys like us bludgeon the confused person and that can be detrimental too (we do it out of frustration), but remember that people have to experience to "know". In this day and age especially, people aren't raised to easily perceive these things; there are bad families, deception, propaganda in school, emotional appeals, etc.

Also remember that there are some people that will never accept the truth. They are all capable, but some are called and will refuse. Sad, but true.

No forgiveness is needed to be asked. Of course there are similarities because Christianity is about the nature of the world and how to interact with/within it. Christ said "I am the way, the truth, and the life", so any truth is going to overlap with Christian doctrine. The Christian path is to remove those layers of deception (till the soil) and face reality(the truth).

(12-09-2019 07:03 PM)blacknwhitespade Wrote:  My brother and I have had a close, friendly relationship for most of our lives. I recently bluntly told him about his pattern in previous relationships, that he tolerates nonsense from women and has a white knight complex.

Perhaps bluntness wasn't the best approach. People don't like to be told that everything they're doing is wrong. Even when it's obvious, especially when there's emotion involved.

[
(02-13-2020 07:22 PM)blacknwhitespade Wrote:  Also, one more tidbit: his friend he had the falling out with got a phone call from his girlfriend 2 months after they'd been dating to introduce herself, she told my brother's friend that she was secretly trying to get pregnant by my brother!

Did you know this earlier? If you did, why didn't you try to shake some sense into him at the time, rather than letting the problem run deeper to the point where he's hitched.

Just prepare yourself to pick up the pieces of your brother's ego when his marriage eventually falls apart. Remember humility, and to lead with questions, not make assertions of what he's done, otherwise you can harden him to any the lessons that could be learned.
02-14-2020 10:49 AM
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RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
(02-14-2020 10:49 AM)Aboulia Wrote:  Did you know this earlier? If you did, why didn't you try to shake some sense into him at the time, rather than letting the problem run deeper to the point where he's hitched.

Just prepare yourself to pick up the pieces of your brother's ego when his marriage eventually falls apart. Remember humility, and to lead with questions, not make assertions of what he's done, otherwise you can harden him to any the lessons that could be learned.

No, I didn't find out until they were already married. His friend said he'd tried to get in touch with him about it, but my brother had been ignoring his calls/texts until finally he got a hold of him and they got into an argument and that was the end of their friendship. My brother cannot take anything else than 100% praise for his wife. He's become another one of these evangelical Xtian guys who thinks his wife is a snow angel and anybody who questions anything is judgmental/unforgiving/un-Xtian, etc..

(02-14-2020 04:58 AM)Vladimir Poontang Wrote:  Would you consider showing him this thread?

I've actually thought about that, although his wife might see first since she seems to read all his messages and even sometimes is the one who responds.

(02-14-2020 07:01 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Id focus on your parents and how theyre doing with all of this. Tell them its not their fault.

Yes, I've told them not to cave to any of his demands and stop communicating with him. My mom apologized for whatever wrong she said, and he told her she needs to come and kiss his wife's feet. I can tell my mom misses him and doesn't want to lose the relationship with him. I don't either. It's a hard situation, but my dad is also pretty solid on it: this is his war that he started, let him dig his way out of it.

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(This post was last modified: 02-14-2020 12:10 PM by blacknwhitespade.)
02-14-2020 11:59 AM
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PapayaTapper Away
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Post: #21
RE: How do you Red Pill a family member?
As I said Id focus on being there more for your parents and by the sounds of it especially your mom. Reassure her she did nothing wrong. In fact she did exactly what a good parent is supposed to do when they see their child making a bad decision.

Id try to discourage her from acquiescing to your brother's demand that she grovel at the woman's feet. Its really just emotional extortion on his part and a shitty thing to do to his own mother. I suspect that this type of manipulation has long been in his tool bag and has even enabled his serial bad decision making.

I also know its hard to let go and "let it run its course" but that's what needs to happen for everyone involved.

Douchebaggery requires tough love

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
02-14-2020 01:04 PM
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