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General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
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Donfitz007 Offline
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Post: #101
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
You're right beside the fact I said it was all about sex....which I would never say (especially due to the new forum shift). But you're right I need to be honest with myself. This is an unspoken relationship.
10-05-2019 04:32 AM
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Leonard D Neubache Offline
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Post: #102
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-05-2019 03:59 AM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  Leonard we have butt heads before int the past but you usually have A+ material. Even in this case your advice is very welcome. However things aren't cut and dry ESPECIALLY in america. Yes I admit I misled the people of this forum at first in an attempt to NOT get banned when I needed advice. With that said its complicated what she is.

Like I said things aren't black and white and a lot of experienced guys see it as black and white. I can't label her because we're a weird mix of things. More than FWB but less than a wife.

You guys genuinely mean to tell me you would tell a girl you've only known a couple months to stay home and not follow her goals because the relationship MIGHT work

Regardless of whether you ask the top religious posters or the top family posters or the top game posters on this forum, you're going to get advice which shares a very similar vein.

It is as follows, and I'm being blunt for effect, not to be rude.

Stop fucking around and decide what you want then pursue it without apology or hesitation.

Now where my opinion might diverge from the hedonist set is that degrading a woman's ability to choose marriage and monogamy (whether you think she will or wont) is immoral. Alpha-widowing women is immoral. Sucking years of their life away in dead-end LTRs causing them to end up bitter and childless is immoral. Some guys will tell you "that's their choice and the repercussions are their responsibility". It's bullshit. Those guys are feminists. They just don't realize it. Men control destiny and women seek to be owned. They hate responsibility and want to be told what to do.

This girl as much as begged you to take control of her life out of her hands. "I don't want the responsibility" she said "I want you to take it". You declined because on some level you've been indoctrinated with feminist garbage the way most of us have been in our younger years.

Now, if you had no intention of making her your wife then the outcome you've arranged is in keeping with what's proper, even if you approached it ass backwards.

If you had the intention of making her your wife then you've made a stupid mistake tossing the authority she gave you back into her lap and telling her "do your own thing".

That's my take because I'm not going to indulge the options that lead to you alpha-widowing her for temporary hedonistic gain, and as per the new forum rules if you wanted that option then you need to talk to sympathetic forum members via PM or go to some place like STW that still caters to that sort of thing.

But in the end your main problem is that you're letting your circumstances determine your options. There are almost 4 billion women on the planet and unless you look like Quasimodo then this isn't the last train out of Single Station. If you want to marry the girl then you should take authority over her and channel her energies into things that will make her a proper wife and mother (6 months in Spain and a career are NOT included).

If you don't want to marry her then drive her to the airport, wave her goodbye, wash your hands (literally, it's a powerful act), and walk the fuck away.

Do not let your circumstances control your options.

God demands of Man responsibility. God demands of Woman vulnerability. These are their curse and blessing alike. Libertianism is to Man as Feminism is to Woman.
10-05-2019 06:20 AM
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MichaelWitcoff Offline
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Post: #103
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-05-2019 04:32 AM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  You're right beside the fact I said it was all about sex....which I would never say (especially due to the new forum shift). But you're right I need to be honest with myself. This is an unspoken relationship.

Apologies if I got that part wrong, I just read the first couple pages at 2 or 3 am before posting my response. But I'm glad the part about honesty resonated with you. The question to ask surrounding honesty is - next time you meet a girl you like (or possibly even with this one, later, once all this has blown over) - how do you communicate more honestly so you won't end up in this mess of confusion? "Unspoken" has benefits, but also consequences - one of them being that the woman doesn't know her place in your life, which leads to all kinds of drama.

Jewish convert to Orthodox Christianity and best-selling author of "On The Masons And Their Lies."
10-05-2019 01:44 PM
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monsquid Offline
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Post: #104
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Guys I could use your thoughts and advice.

I met a woman 3 or 4 months ago through social circle. Chatted her up a bit and then later reconnected via FB. A month ago I asked her out on a date and she said yes. Went on another date following week. First was drinks and second was a museum. I waited a bit and asked her if she wanted to meet again and she said no she's busy. A few days later we talked on the phone for a bit. Last thing I told her was via FB messenger where I told her I enjoyed spending time and talking to her. She sent a smiley face back.

Now it's been over a month with no contact and I'm wondering if I should invite her to a friends BBQ this weekend. I'm still interested in her because she seems pretty stable and normal enough. Although she seems very guarded and I had to do most of the talking when we hung out. Also because she said no the last time I wanted to see her and hasn't initiated contact with me, I'm wondering if she's just not that into me.

She just turned 30. She insists that she's willing to wait for the right man when talking about relationships. Kinda bothered me how confident she was that she could secure the man of her dreams. Maybe that's my insecurity speaking, who knows. Thought she was a bit delusional. Perhaps I didn't build enough attraction. I played it very conservative because I'm looking for relationship not a hookup. Normally I would've been more pushy.

Thoughts?
(This post was last modified: 10-14-2019 12:53 PM by monsquid.)
10-14-2019 12:52 PM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #105
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-14-2019 12:52 PM)monsquid Wrote:  Guys I could use your thoughts and advice.

I met a woman 3 or 4 months ago through social circle. Chatted her up a bit and then later reconnected via FB. A month ago I asked her out on a date and she said yes. Went on another date following week. First was drinks and second was a museum. I waited a bit and asked her if she wanted to meet again and she said no she's busy. A few days later we talked on the phone for a bit. Last thing I told her was via FB messenger where I told her I enjoyed spending time and talking to her. She sent a smiley face back.

Now it's been over a month with no contact and I'm wondering if I should invite her to a friends BBQ this weekend. I'm still interested in her because she seems pretty stable and normal enough. Although she seems very guarded and I had to do most of the talking when we hung out. Also because she said no the last time I wanted to see her and hasn't initiated contact with me, I'm wondering if she's just not that into me.

She just turned 30. She insists that she's willing to wait for the right man when talking about relationships. Kinda bothered me how confident she was that she could secure the man of her dreams. Maybe that's my insecurity speaking, who knows. Thought she was a bit delusional. Perhaps I didn't build enough attraction. I played it very conservative because I'm looking for relationship not a hookup. Normally I would've been more pushy.

Thoughts?

I suggest you to read: https://markmanson.net/fuck-yes
10-14-2019 01:45 PM
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Avey Offline
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Post: #106
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Need some advice since I'm pretty inexperienced at women.
I'm in a relationship currently with a girl I made my first thread on here about. We're about 5 months in a relationship.
My question is whether she is displaying red flags or if women in general are like this, would it be worth breaking up or are most women like this?

I'll start with the good:
-Seems very in love with me, showers me with compliments and is willing to travel 1,5 hours to meet me in my town each week
-Young, she's 5 years younger than me so maybe she'll grow out of some of the negative stuff she has.
-Can actually have a conversation without getting too emotional. Tolerates my traditional views.
-Mentally healthy, no daddy issues or any of that crap some women have. No crazy family members
-Willing to have at least 3 children.
-She is not bossy
-Is not too clingy, doesn't text me constantly and can go without seeing me for a few days

The negative:
-Does not share my interests. Not in politics, history, culture, sports or hobbies. Kind of amazed we found things to talk about for 5 months.
-Refuses to cook for me, gives the nonsense excuse that she doesn't know how my stove works. I cook all the time because it's just being nice.
-Maybe the most annoying thing is she sometimes doesn't react when I say something I am passionate about. First it was about politics when I went off on something but a few days ago I shared something personal (something I hardly ever do) and I got a one sentence shit reply when I pretend to be interested in the very uninteresting things she likes.
-Might seem small but when she corrects me she has a tone I cannot deal with, like she's trying to get one up over me.
-Wastes time on trivial shit like Instagram, although I suspect this is most women.
-Honestly not funny and has shallow understanding of whatever she is interested in.
-Eats like an animal, isn't fat but honestly won't take long with how she eats. I did get her in the gym though so that's a plus.

So this is roughly the situation. Normal women stuff or should I expect more form a woman? She's 20 so does she grow out of some of these things? Are there things I can do to test if she has potential.

Also she's a 6.5 or a 7,5 on good days.
10-17-2019 06:02 AM
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Leonard D Neubache Offline
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Post: #107
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Do you at all envisage a future where she's your wife?

God demands of Man responsibility. God demands of Woman vulnerability. These are their curse and blessing alike. Libertianism is to Man as Feminism is to Woman.
10-17-2019 06:27 AM
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Avey Offline
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Post: #108
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-17-2019 06:27 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  Do you at all envisage a future where she's your wife?

Yes but then comes the thing I forgot to add:
Even with kids she wants to work full time. I might get her to the point where she would work 4 (maybe 3) days a week when she had kids but I am not planning on being someone who sends their kids to be raised by daycare.

But yes I can imagine it but then again I can envision just about anything, it's something i regularly do.
10-17-2019 06:31 AM
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bgbusiness Away
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Post: #109
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-14-2019 12:52 PM)monsquid Wrote:  Guys I could use your thoughts and advice.

I met a woman 3 or 4 months ago through social circle. Chatted her up a bit and then later reconnected via FB. A month ago I asked her out on a date and she said yes. Went on another date following week. First was drinks and second was a museum. I waited a bit and asked her if she wanted to meet again and she said no she's busy. A few days later we talked on the phone for a bit. Last thing I told her was via FB messenger where I told her I enjoyed spending time and talking to her. She sent a smiley face back.

Now it's been over a month with no contact and I'm wondering if I should invite her to a friends BBQ this weekend. I'm still interested in her because she seems pretty stable and normal enough. Although she seems very guarded and I had to do most of the talking when we hung out. Also because she said no the last time I wanted to see her and hasn't initiated contact with me, I'm wondering if she's just not that into me.

She just turned 30. She insists that she's willing to wait for the right man when talking about relationships. Kinda bothered me how confident she was that she could secure the man of her dreams. Maybe that's my insecurity speaking, who knows. Thought she was a bit delusional. Perhaps I didn't build enough attraction. I played it very conservative because I'm looking for relationship not a hookup. Normally I would've been more pushy.

Thoughts?

Does she know your intention?
Did you EVER tried to kiss close her on your dates? Any kino?
Even if you are looking for a relationship, you can still kiss after few dates.
Let her know your true intention, she might just think that you are being friendly at this point

"Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."
- Heat

"That's the difference between you and me. You wanna lose small, I wanna win big."
10-17-2019 06:49 AM
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onetouchisultra Offline
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Post: #110
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Think of this as practice in finding your balls and ending it. Women esp American Women love finding themselves abroad.
You are torturing yourself caring.
10-17-2019 07:30 AM
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thatnowrite Offline
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Post: #111
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Dear All,

I would like to ask for advise on relationships from a masculine perspective.

It is not the first time I post; before I commented I had an affair, was marriage and so on. Things are I decided to be honest and give a try with my until-now mistress. She is a sweet girl, had a two years old child; she was until recently in a long term relationship as I was. I know the general consensus related to single mothers, but I have a very particular situation which makes me happy to have a family with children (have none myself, after trying for years).

She moved with me one month ago, after being apart for five months. I came up with the idea to start slowly (yes, it was my idea) in order to be clean in a nice "romance" (yes, I know, blue pill and so on). The first days she did not even want to hold my hand, which was of course frustrating, but got quickly better. Kissing and so on followed, but she kinds of avoid deep kissing.

In the period of time we have been living together (one month), we have had intimacy only once. She says she has some kind of discomfort from a medical condition, I offer alternative forms of intimacy, to which she agreed only once.

Before I end up things, want to see if there is a fix. I know some of my failures: being really nice to her, helping in everything, being available all the time; also a mistake from my side to be open about my feelings towards her, sometimes I have a kind of but hurt face, and I was definitively giving her too much attention.

Positive in this relationship is: she is always at home, very beautiful, take cares of herself, feminine, cooks always and with very much talent, maintain the house clean and makes nice plans for us to have fun together.

But I am kind of offended for the lack of intimacy, and it reflects on my mood (but hurt face as I mentioned). Is there something I can do to fix things with this woman? Just for information, she is much younger than me (more than 10 years younger, but I am quite fit and athletic).

Sorry if I brake any of the new forum rules, I am trying to have a serious relationship here and not an affair.
10-30-2019 06:39 AM
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Cobra Offline
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Post: #112
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Always, and I mean always kino on first dates.

If you don't do it, also don't be surprised if the woman doesn't want to see you again.

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10-30-2019 06:51 AM
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WombRaider Offline
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Post: #113
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Getting serious with your mistress ... it's a mistake that many men make. Thee first problem is, she's known not to respect concepts like marriage, honesty, loyalty, and integrity. You're in the same boat. You can work on yourself, but you won't be able to affect her core values, or lack thereof.

The second problem is, she is known to like married men. She craves the drama. Now that she has your full attention, you bore her.

One thing is for sure: She is no longer attracted to you. Time to move on.
(This post was last modified: 10-30-2019 07:10 AM by WombRaider.)
10-30-2019 07:10 AM
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SomeOneSomeWhere Offline
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Post: #114
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-17-2019 06:02 AM)Avey Wrote:  -She is not bossy
-Might seem small but when she corrects me she has a tone I cannot deal with, like she's trying to get one up over me.

5 months in and you aren't living together. If you commit chances are she goes full matriarchy on you.

Quote:-Refuses to cook for me, gives the nonsense excuse that she doesn't know how my stove works. I cook all the time because it's just being nice.

If women don't want to do stuff they got 1001 excuses they come up with on the fly. It's up to you to dig for the true reasons or to force them to do stuff for you.

What worked for me on a stubborn woman was simply refusing to cook because I'm too busy. I pretend I'm too busy working on my laptop and have no time. She's a shitty cook and prefers to order takeouts though.

Generally anything negative prior to serious commitment will get MUCH worse after you commit in any major way - be it cohabitation or marriage.

The older I get the more I think guys should learn hard but fair management and leadership principles as well as sales skills in order to manage women, manipulate them in your favor and to screen out bad candidates.
10-30-2019 07:25 AM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #115
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-17-2019 06:02 AM)Avey Wrote:  Need some advice since I'm pretty inexperienced at women.
I'm in a relationship currently with a girl I made my first thread on here about. We're about 5 months in a relationship.
My question is whether she is displaying red flags or if women in general are like this, would it be worth breaking up or are most women like this?

I'll start with the good:
-Seems very in love with me, showers me with compliments and is willing to travel 1,5 hours to meet me in my town each week
-Young, she's 5 years younger than me so maybe she'll grow out of some of the negative stuff she has.
-Can actually have a conversation without getting too emotional. Tolerates my traditional views.
-Mentally healthy, no daddy issues or any of that crap some women have. No crazy family members
-Willing to have at least 3 children.
-She is not bossy
-Is not too clingy, doesn't text me constantly and can go without seeing me for a few days

The negative:
-Does not share my interests. Not in politics, history, culture, sports or hobbies. Kind of amazed we found things to talk about for 5 months.
-Refuses to cook for me, gives the nonsense excuse that she doesn't know how my stove works. I cook all the time because it's just being nice.
-Maybe the most annoying thing is she sometimes doesn't react when I say something I am passionate about. First it was about politics when I went off on something but a few days ago I shared something personal (something I hardly ever do) and I got a one sentence shit reply when I pretend to be interested in the very uninteresting things she likes.
-Might seem small but when she corrects me she has a tone I cannot deal with, like she's trying to get one up over me.
-Wastes time on trivial shit like Instagram, although I suspect this is most women.
-Honestly not funny and has shallow understanding of whatever she is interested in.
-Eats like an animal, isn't fat but honestly won't take long with how she eats. I did get her in the gym though so that's a plus.

So this is roughly the situation. Normal women stuff or should I expect more form a woman? She's 20 so does she grow out of some of these things? Are there things I can do to test if she has potential.

Also she's a 6.5 or a 7,5 on good days.

Sounds like a typical female human to me. Now look at yourself: Do you behave virtuous? You are supposed to lead and correct women, but this has to come from a strong frame of your own.

Women adjust to their environment: How they behave around you is an image of what you currently represent and deserve.
10-30-2019 07:35 AM
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forestdweller Offline
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Post: #116
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Hello, first time poster here. I just wanted to thank you guys for taking the time to answer these questions and for some of the great posts ive seen on this forum.

My issue is what i perceive as excessive awkwardness for someone my age. I had a not super upbringing (way better than my parents received, im over the blame stage) which led me to video games and porn instead of facing my social anxiety in my teenage years. Im late 20s now and although I've somehow managed to get relationships/dates I feel like a fish out of water these days.

I have seen improvements with meditation, eating well, lifting, and talking to random people more but actually showing my intentions (getting a number) triggers big time anxiety.

I'm looking for a long term relationship (wife), not just to fuck around. I live in a west coast city as a closeted conservative also. It just seems like the girls I talk to don't really care much with what I have to say (could just be in my head). They seem nice but often times I run out of things to say and they walk away haha.

Just looking for a little advice or a point in the right direction.

Thanks guys.
10-30-2019 10:01 AM
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Post: #117
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-30-2019 10:01 AM)forestdweller Wrote:  Hello, first time poster here. I just wanted to thank you guys for taking the time to answer these questions and for some of the great posts ive seen on this forum.

My issue is what i perceive as excessive awkwardness for someone my age. I had a not super upbringing (way better than my parents received, im over the blame stage) which led me to video games and porn instead of facing my social anxiety in my teenage years. Im late 20s now and although I've somehow managed to get relationships/dates I feel like a fish out of water these days.

I have seen improvements with meditation, eating well, lifting, and talking to random people more but actually showing my intentions (getting a number) triggers big time anxiety.

I'm looking for a long term relationship (wife), not just to fuck around. I live in a west coast city as a closeted conservative also. It just seems like the girls I talk to don't really care much with what I have to say (could just be in my head). They seem nice but often times I run out of things to say and they walk away haha.

Just looking for a little advice or a point in the right direction.

Thanks guys.

Youre on the right track.

1. Taking responsibility for your own actions and life outcomes is a major step. Blaming parents (or any others for that matter) is a trap that many fall into and never recover from. Past is not prologue...unless you let it be

2. Taking proactive steps to improve yourself is critical. "Success" at anything is a cumulative result. Every tiny drop in the bucket counts and more "water" (success) attracts more of the same. Each success builds self esteem, which builds confidence...etc etc. Its a self fulfilling cycle

Youre already way ahead of the game compared to the statistical majority of whiners.

Keep going.

I have two pieces of advice

1. Always remember that you will suffer some "losses"/ failures along the way. No one ever "wins" at everything or every time. Example: Tom Brady who is now the winning est NFL QB of all time has fumbled, thrown interceptions, lost Super Bowls, etc...but I dont think anyone would call him a loser.

Cheesy cliche' time: ...You dont lose until you quit

2. Always remember that youre not nearly as important to anyone as yourself. I wont get too esoteric but what Im talking about can be described as "destruction of your own ego". Specifically what I mean by that is no one remembers when you fail, trip, stumble , or otherwise make a fool of yourself. Think about it: ever make a fool of yourself in front of strangers? Trip and fall, spill a drink. etc? Of course. We all have. Its embarrassing right?

Ever see someone else do something embarrassing ?

Which one (s) do you remember more? ..your gaffs or others?

Thats your ego.

The same holds true with approaching, interacting with women or anyone for that matter.

Dont take yourself so seriously. No one else does. I guarantee you that

Play on

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
10-30-2019 01:19 PM
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SomeOneSomeWhere Offline
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Post: #118
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Careful friendo... in the age of #metoo awkward approaches in western countries will lead to sexual harassment accusations and you might get arrested.

The matriarchy only wants top x% chads and everybody else should be a humble servant to her highness or get gulag'd for life and they will accuse you of whatever to make it happen these days...
10-30-2019 02:30 PM
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PapayaTapper Away
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Post: #119
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-30-2019 02:30 PM)SomeOneSomeWhere Wrote:  Careful friendo... in the age of #metoo awkward approaches in western countries will lead to sexual harassment accusations and you might get arrested.

The matriarchy only wants top x% chads and everybody else should be a humble servant to her highness or get gulag'd for life and they will accuse you of whatever to make it happen these days...

Walking outside might get you struck by lightning too however statistically unlikely.

Moreover: Lack of confidence + self conscious = awkward

Additionally : There is no "matriarchy". In fact there is no "they" whatsoever beyond what we as individuals manifest in our own consciousness and sub-consciousness

Finally: Living ruled by fear is no life at all.

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
10-30-2019 02:48 PM
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forestdweller Offline
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Post: #120
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Thanks for the replies, however blackpilling one was. I'm not worried that I'll go far enough to get a girl to accuse me of sexual harassment, I'm not a hardcase sperg as far as I know, although I certainly could stand to push things further.

I do tend to think everyone is watching and judging when I approach which isn't the case in reality. Also I shouldn't care what thoughts random people are having about me, it doesn't impact me.

Just a matter of putting what I know to practice and having faith in the outcome, good or bad.

Thanks guys.
10-30-2019 08:46 PM
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Avey Offline
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Post: #121
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-30-2019 07:35 AM)wwtl Wrote:  
(10-17-2019 06:02 AM)Avey Wrote:  Need some advice since I'm pretty inexperienced at women.
I'm in a relationship currently with a girl I made my first thread on here about. We're about 5 months in a relationship.
My question is whether she is displaying red flags or if women in general are like this, would it be worth breaking up or are most women like this?

I'll start with the good:
-Seems very in love with me, showers me with compliments and is willing to travel 1,5 hours to meet me in my town each week
-Young, she's 5 years younger than me so maybe she'll grow out of some of the negative stuff she has.
-Can actually have a conversation without getting too emotional. Tolerates my traditional views.
-Mentally healthy, no daddy issues or any of that crap some women have. No crazy family members
-Willing to have at least 3 children.
-She is not bossy
-Is not too clingy, doesn't text me constantly and can go without seeing me for a few days

The negative:
-Does not share my interests. Not in politics, history, culture, sports or hobbies. Kind of amazed we found things to talk about for 5 months.
-Refuses to cook for me, gives the nonsense excuse that she doesn't know how my stove works. I cook all the time because it's just being nice.
-Maybe the most annoying thing is she sometimes doesn't react when I say something I am passionate about. First it was about politics when I went off on something but a few days ago I shared something personal (something I hardly ever do) and I got a one sentence shit reply when I pretend to be interested in the very uninteresting things she likes.
-Might seem small but when she corrects me she has a tone I cannot deal with, like she's trying to get one up over me.
-Wastes time on trivial shit like Instagram, although I suspect this is most women.
-Honestly not funny and has shallow understanding of whatever she is interested in.
-Eats like an animal, isn't fat but honestly won't take long with how she eats. I did get her in the gym though so that's a plus.

So this is roughly the situation. Normal women stuff or should I expect more form a woman? She's 20 so does she grow out of some of these things? Are there things I can do to test if she has potential.

Also she's a 6.5 or a 7,5 on good days.

Sounds like a typical female human to me. Now look at yourself: Do you behave virtuous? You are supposed to lead and correct women, but this has to come from a strong frame of your own.

Women adjust to their environment: How they behave around you is an image of what you currently represent and deserve.
I'm in a dead end job, good looking and fit, passive hobbies like gaming, sports and following politics, money wise I'm good.

You say it sounds like a typical female however the not sharing any hobbies or interests thing is grating on me more now. I know I should probably keep those things for friends however I don't have many and it's kind of annoying that we are either not interested in each others interests or have the exact opposite.

Like with music, she's into horrible club music and pop shit while I'm into more rock/classical. It sounds small but should it be normal to not share any interests? Early on in the relationship I said for vacation ideas I'd like to be immersed in a countries history/culture. Visit museums and all that. She has no interest in that and you just know you'd be dragging her to it boring her, or she will want to go clubbing with me, boring me.

I'm split and have had a dream about another woman last night, I know a woman shouldn't share too many hobbies with you but there should be some right?
On the other hand, I've met many women who are bat shit crazy on points where she is more reasonable, she is okay with 3 kids and is working on getting fit and not be a slob.

My lack of dating experience is what's the issue here, I don't know if I'm just hyping up the perfect relationship in my mind or if I could really do better.
11-02-2019 06:55 AM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #122
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(11-02-2019 06:55 AM)Avey Wrote:  I'm in a dead end job, good looking and fit, passive hobbies like gaming, sports and following politics, money wise I'm good.

You say it sounds like a typical female however the not sharing any hobbies or interests thing is grating on me more now. I know I should probably keep those things for friends however I don't have many and it's kind of annoying that we are either not interested in each others interests or have the exact opposite.

Like with music, she's into horrible club music and pop shit while I'm into more rock/classical. It sounds small but should it be normal to not share any interests? Early on in the relationship I said for vacation ideas I'd like to be immersed in a countries history/culture. Visit museums and all that. She has no interest in that and you just know you'd be dragging her to it boring her, or she will want to go clubbing with me, boring me.

I'm split and have had a dream about another woman last night, I know a woman shouldn't share too many hobbies with you but there should be some right?
On the other hand, I've met many women who are bat shit crazy on points where she is more reasonable, she is okay with 3 kids and is working on getting fit and not be a slob.

My lack of dating experience is what's the issue here, I don't know if I'm just hyping up the perfect relationship in my mind or if I could really do better.

If you mean video games by "gaming", then you should look into getting rid of those, these are an overall negative influence on your adult life. If you are a porn user (most gamers are), get rid of it as well. Following sports and politics isn't going to build a strong personality either, an attractive man has personal goals and is dedicated to them, so he has no time to waste on the daily news cycle.

Your relationship conflicts are a result of your weak frame. A man with a strong frame draws a girl into it. Means: When a girl is into you, whatever music she used to listen to she is going to drop to now going to enjoy your preferred genre. Similarly she will go out of her way to spend time with you on your preferred activities. Or in other words: You lead, she follows.

A girl living a life on her own while you essentially orbit her, means that you have lost the lead or never had it. So while you might think you are in a "relationship", you actually are not. You are a bystander satisfying a compartmentalized need of her (aka having sex with her).

The important thing to understand is that you don't solve that problem by looking for faults in girls. You look for red flags in your own person and work on yourself to become a better, more desirable, leading and masculine man. As a result feminine, naturally submissive girls will get attracted to you and fall in line: like what you like, behave how you want, get in shape on their own etc.
11-02-2019 07:33 AM
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Avey Offline
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Post: #123
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(11-02-2019 07:33 AM)wwtl Wrote:  
(11-02-2019 06:55 AM)Avey Wrote:  I'm in a dead end job, good looking and fit, passive hobbies like gaming, sports and following politics, money wise I'm good.

You say it sounds like a typical female however the not sharing any hobbies or interests thing is grating on me more now. I know I should probably keep those things for friends however I don't have many and it's kind of annoying that we are either not interested in each others interests or have the exact opposite.

Like with music, she's into horrible club music and pop shit while I'm into more rock/classical. It sounds small but should it be normal to not share any interests? Early on in the relationship I said for vacation ideas I'd like to be immersed in a countries history/culture. Visit museums and all that. She has no interest in that and you just know you'd be dragging her to it boring her, or she will want to go clubbing with me, boring me.

I'm split and have had a dream about another woman last night, I know a woman shouldn't share too many hobbies with you but there should be some right?
On the other hand, I've met many women who are bat shit crazy on points where she is more reasonable, she is okay with 3 kids and is working on getting fit and not be a slob.

My lack of dating experience is what's the issue here, I don't know if I'm just hyping up the perfect relationship in my mind or if I could really do better.

If you mean video games by "gaming", then you should look into getting rid of those, these are an overall negative influence on your adult life. If you are a porn user (most gamers are), get rid of it as well. Following sports and politics isn't going to build a strong personality either, an attractive man has personal goals and is dedicated to them, so he has no time to waste on the daily news cycle.

Your relationship conflicts are a result of your weak frame. A man with a strong frame draws a girl into it. Means: When a girl is into you, whatever music she used to listen to she is going to drop to now going to enjoy your preferred genre. Similarly she will go out of her way to spend time with you on your preferred activities. Or in other words: You lead, she follows.

A girl living a life on her own while you essentially orbit her, means that you have lost the lead or never had it. So while you might think you are in a "relationship", you actually are not. You are a bystander satisfying a compartmentalized need of her (aka having sex with her).

The important thing to understand is that you don't solve that problem by looking for faults in girls. You look for red flags in your own person and work on yourself to become a better, more desirable, leading and masculine man. As a result feminine, naturally submissive girls will get attracted to you and fall in line: like what you like, behave how you want, get in shape on their own etc.
I see a lot of assumptions from you which miss the mark completely, makes me doubt your other posts, especially since my first post cleared up some of the misconceptions you still have.

First of all, I'm not 'orbiting' her, she takes an hour to travel to me, not the other way around. She is actually unsure if I'm seriously in love with her because she doesn't get the lovey dovey stuff from me too often, while she gives it a lot to me in words at least.

I'm not giving up video games or politics. And with politics I'm not talking about 'day to day news cycle' either. If you think I should, give some concrete examples of what to do instead because I can't do much with what you wrote. btw with talk of politics and ethical issues I get her more into my world view so far, which you think is important.

And trust me, I do look into ways to improve myself, but that's not exactly what my original question was. It was more of if this is a regular spot for a relationship to be in, not whether I should drop all of my hobbies for something else (for what?)

Very odd post but thanks for the reply.
(This post was last modified: 11-02-2019 08:15 AM by Avey.)
11-02-2019 08:12 AM
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Lamron300 Offline
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Post: #124
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Hello guys,

I hope you're well. I'm not sure how many other posts are in this thread, so sorry if I seem too be hijacking a conversation! New user here, looking for advice on dating.

I'm looking for a relationship and only really get to meet girls off online apps. There is a girl I like and I have been on three dates with. She says after every date she has enjoyed herself and she has kissed me on all three occasions. However, I can't tell how much she's into me or how to escalate our dating. What I hate about dating is that if you're not bf or gf, nobody owes you anything. She could be dating 5/6 other guys for all I know and I can't do a thing about it. I'm a reasonable guy and I don't want to waste my time, I'm not saying she is dating other people but if she was I would have to leave the situation as I don't believe in competing for a woman as I can only be myself.

I'm in the stage that when she is on whatsapp and not replying to me first or for a few hours (she's currently on holiday and checking WhatsApp like once an hour, but not my msg), I get paranoid. It is stressing me out as I don't want to make a fool of myself.

How can I advance our dating without coming across weird? I just want to know where I stand. I have had women agree to second and third dates despite them knowing they had no intention of dating and just wasting my time. When I say waste my time I don't mean suddenly realise that we aren't suited, I mean from the begining they only wanted a friend or already had someone they liked or still stuck in past relationship.

Thanks
11-02-2019 08:50 AM
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Avey Offline
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Posts: 30
Joined: Jan 2019
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Post: #125
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(11-02-2019 08:50 AM)Lamron300 Wrote:  Hello guys,

I hope you're well. I'm not sure how many other posts are in this thread, so sorry if I seem too be hijacking a conversation! New user here, looking for advice on dating.

I'm looking for a relationship and only really get to meet girls off online apps. There is a girl I like and I have been on three dates with. She says after every date she has enjoyed herself and she has kissed me on all three occasions. However, I can't tell how much she's into me or how to escalate our dating. What I hate about dating is that if you're not bf or gf, nobody owes you anything. She could be dating 5/6 other guys for all I know and I can't do a thing about it. I'm a reasonable guy and I don't want to waste my time, I'm not saying she is dating other people but if she was I would have to leave the situation as I don't believe in competing for a woman as I can only be myself.

I'm in the stage that when she is on whatsapp and not replying to me first or for a few hours (she's currently on holiday and checking WhatsApp like once an hour, but not my msg), I get paranoid. It is stressing me out as I don't want to make a fool of myself.

How can I advance our dating without coming across weird? I just want to know where I stand. I have had women agree to second and third dates despite them knowing they had no intention of dating and just wasting my time. When I say waste my time I don't mean suddenly realise that we aren't suited, I mean from the begining they only wanted a friend or already had someone they liked or still stuck in past relationship.

Thanks

Not sure of your entire situation but the tip I got from people here (and it worked) was to either hint strongly to fucking or straight up ask her to come back to your place.
My situation was harder because I used to live at home so on the 4th date I smiled and she asked what i was smiling about. I said that I was thinking about renting a hotel room so she could stay the night with me.
She was shocked but obviously flattered, she refused but 2 dates after that I managed to take her back to 'my place' (was house sitting for a friend).
With that one I just came from work and said I was tired and just wanted to relax at home and watch a show, she went with me and the rest is history.

Point is, be crystal clear that you are romantically interested in her.
And don't fret over her not answering on whatsapp, it's beta. If she takes an hour to respond to you, you take an hour and 15 minutes to reply back.
11-02-2019 09:02 AM
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