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What would you do if your wife was infertile?
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Khal Drogo Offline
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Post: #51
RE: What would you do if your wife was infertile?
Assuming one wants a traditional way of having their own children then you divorce and marry a different one.
Or you can just adopt. Really depends on the person.

I'm not even close to a 'having a child' mindset yet so I can't really weigh in but I'd assume a lot of people nowadays would go for adoption.
10-04-2019 06:20 PM
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buja Offline
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Post: #52
RE: What would you do if your wife was infertile?
I'd have her follow Dr. Wallach's protocol.
He says that he's got many women pregnant!

He uses nutrition and the elimination of harmful foods.

...I'd have her do this anyway to eliminate the chance of birth defects.
10-06-2019 11:40 AM
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infowarrior1 Online
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Post: #53
RE: What would you do if your wife was infertile?
Prayer. Isaac,Sarah and Hannah prayed for an open womb. And they eventually got their wish after some time.

God has opened wombs before I dont think he will not do so know.
10-08-2019 09:06 PM
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redbeard Offline
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Post: #54
RE: What would you do if your wife was infertile?
(01-05-2019 08:48 AM)redbeard Wrote:  What would you do if this happened to you? It seems to me there are only a few options.

-Divorce
-Adoption
-IVF
-Impregnate another woman

I've since reversed my stance. None of those options are viable in the Catholic faith and I do not recommend them.

If your wife is infertile, you are called to create "children" through other means, either through adoption or becoming a church elder. It's still your responsibility to care for your wife (as Joseph housed Mary) and you shouldn't even consider leaving her.

From the Catechism:

Quote:2379 The Gospel shows that physical sterility is not an absolute evil. Spouses who still suffer from infertility after exhausting legitimate medical procedures should unite themselves with the Lord's Cross, the source of all spiritual fecundity. They can give expression to their generosity by adopting abandoned children or performing demanding services for others.

As far as prevention goes, the best thing you can do is marry young. This is a time-tested method for guaranteeing offspring.

Some commenters recommended knocking her up before the wedding. This is obviously wrong, since that requires having sex before marriage. Although this guarantees you have kids, it hurts your marriage and could also damage you and her in the process.

Even if you're totally head over heels for a girl, there's no way to be 100% sure you'll get married until you walk down the aisle. By having sex before marriage, even when you're engaged, you open yourselves up to the risk that you don't get married, and just added another notch to your count. This risk is even greater if you have a child out of wedlock, and now create a single mother.

Part of the beauty of marriage is that it takes faith. There are a million and one ways your marriage could turn sour. But, if it was easy, everyone would do it. The fact that marriage could absolutely destroy you means that a successful marriage is that much more of a testament to its magnificence.

Instead of trying to "play God" and make sure everything works out just as you intend it, we're called to trust in God's plan. Take chances. Love your wife as Christ loves us, and everything will work out.

"Every saint has a past, every sinner a future."
12-29-2019 10:44 AM
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hkhathaj Offline
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Post: #55
RE: What would you do if your wife was infertile?
You have to do all possible to avoid that situation:

* Only marry a young and healthy woman (with low notch count if possible).
* Use high healthy fat, low carb and low autoimmune diet on her. Also use high intensity training if necessary. (This heals endometriosis which is the NO1 cause of infertility of women.)
* Make sure the woman is not on the pill when she meets you. This will help much to filter out a woman who has incompatible immune system to you. (There is a thing that a pair does not fit each other and is infertile for this reason but when pairs are bonding in a natural environment then they normally find matching partners.)

If you do that all then you have a high chance to avoid the problem.
01-02-2020 01:32 PM
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kel Offline
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Post: #56
RE: What would you do if your wife was infertile?
I've got three women pretty solidly ready to move to the farm with me (and a few other maybes), and they all know each other and that I'm seeing multiple women. The three are all in their 30s, like me, so it's very likely at least one will be infertile. I'm preparing for this by making sure (repeatedly) each understands what this community we're creating is about and what their responsibilities and rights (in that order) are. The women will be in charge of raising the children - nurturing physically, emotionally, and intellectually for their entire childhood, especially the first twelve years before they become young men and women. That means even if you can not bear a child, you are still a matriarch in this community, you have very important work to do and you will be expected to perform it. Giving them this responsibility is an honor and that breeds trust and accountability.

And to be clear, I think monogamy is preferable to polygamy for society at large, but this current society is sick on a more fundamental level, there are simply not enough men ready to man up, so this is what I'm doing. I will be raising my children to aim for monogamy in the new world we will be a part of creating. Don't get on my ass about this.
01-06-2020 06:11 PM
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JohnQThomas Offline
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Post: #57
RE: What would you do if your wife was infertile?
Neither Christianity nor Western Civilization recognizes polygamous “marriage”. A man who attempts it either marries one woman legally and commits adultery with others, or marries none legally and fornicates with more than one.
02-02-2020 11:32 AM
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PandaSmile Offline
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Post: #58
RE: What would you do if your wife was infertile?
Easiest way to figure this all out is get tested. I got tested when I was single and I have high sperm quality and count. I am approximately 30% more fertile than the average father (not man). I then ask the girls to see a doctor. The last three girls I dated had fertility problems so it was good I brought it up. One hadn't said anything right away but had to get an emergency hysterectomy from car accident a few years earlier. The second had a hormone disorder which causes fertility problems. The third had a blood disorder which causes very high risk pregnancies and the doctor said "You can have one kid when the stars align on your blood tests but please don't try to have more" and I am of mind to have 4 or more kids. SMH. None of them had any sort of outward appearance of issues at all.

Girls being infertile appears to be a very big problem.

I would never adopt a rando. If I already had a bunch of kids and like a family member died I would gladly take that child but no adopting some little african baby for me. Nope.
02-03-2020 06:09 AM
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Augustus_Principe Offline
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Post: #59
RE: What would you do if your wife was infertile?
(02-03-2020 06:09 AM)PandaSmile Wrote:  Easiest way to figure this all out is get tested. I got tested when I was single and I have high sperm quality and count. I am approximately 30% more fertile than the average father (not man). I then ask the girls to see a doctor. The last three girls I dated had fertility problems so it was good I brought it up. One hadn't said anything right away but had to get an emergency hysterectomy from car accident a few years earlier. The second had a hormone disorder which causes fertility problems. The third had a blood disorder which causes very high risk pregnancies and the doctor said "You can have one kid when the stars align on your blood tests but please don't try to have more" and I am of mind to have 4 or more kids. SMH. None of them had any sort of outward appearance of issues at all.

Girls being infertile appears to be a very big problem.

I would never adopt a rando. If I already had a bunch of kids and like a family member died I would gladly take that child but no adopting some little african baby for me. Nope.

Having yourself tested and the woman you are seeing is not a bad idea in this day and age. Unfortunately, infertility is a huge issue that does not get enough public attention because it would of course make women look bad. The girl in my last relationship ended up being infertile.
02-03-2020 11:51 AM
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Rob Banks Online
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Post: #60
RE: What would you do if your wife was infertile?
What is the opinion of forum members/what is the Christian view on "in vitro" fertilization (IVF)?

I am personally against it because they fertilize 10 or 15 eggs at a time and then a doctor selects the "healthiest" embryo and all the rest are killed. This is wrong on so many levels, from the killing of human embryos to the doctor "playing God" and choosing who will live and die.

Also, I believe that men's and women's bodies have natural ways to ensure that the strongest sperm fertilizes the strongest egg. With IVF, this gets negated. The sperm fertilizing the egg may not be the strongest.

But what if this was your only option? What if your wife could not get pregnant the natural way (or she was too old)? Would you consider IVF?

EDIT: I see that the health and financial aspects of IVF were discussed earlier in this thread. However, no one talked about the moral/ethical aspects that I outlined above.
(This post was last modified: 02-03-2020 09:29 PM by Rob Banks.)
02-03-2020 09:20 PM
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redbeard Offline
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Post: #61
RE: What would you do if your wife was infertile?
(02-03-2020 09:20 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  What is the opinion of forum members/what is the Christian view on "in vitro" fertilization (IVF)?

I am personally against it because they fertilize 10 or 15 eggs at a time and then a doctor selects the "healthiest" embryo and all the rest are killed. This is wrong on so many levels, from the killing of human embryos to the doctor "playing God" and choosing who will live and die.

Also, I believe that men's and women's bodies have natural ways to ensure that the strongest sperm fertilizes the strongest egg. With IVF, this gets negated. The sperm fertilizing the egg may not be the strongest.

But what if this was your only option? What if your wife could not get pregnant the natural way (or she was too old)? Would you consider IVF?

EDIT: I see that the health and financial aspects of IVF were discussed earlier in this thread. However, no one talked about the moral/ethical aspects that I outlined above.

When in doubt, the Catechism has your back.

https://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/a...s2c2a6.htm

Quote:2376 Techniques that entail the dissociation of husband and wife, by the intrusion of a person other than the couple (donation of sperm or ovum, surrogate uterus), are gravely immoral. These techniques (heterologous artificial insemination and fertilization) infringe the child's right to be born of a father and mother known to him and bound to each other by marriage. They betray the spouses' "right to become a father and a mother only through each other."

2377 Techniques involving only the married couple (homologous artificial insemination and fertilization) are perhaps less reprehensible, yet remain morally unacceptable. They dissociate the sexual act from the procreative act. The act which brings the child into existence is no longer an act by which two persons give themselves to one another, but one that "entrusts the life and identity of the embryo into the power of doctors and biologists and establishes the domination of technology over the origin and destiny of the human person. Such a relationship of domination is in itself contrary to the dignity and equality that must be common to parents and children."

"Under the moral aspect procreation is deprived of its proper perfection when it is not willed as the fruit of the conjugal act, that is to say, of the specific act of the spouses' union . . . . Only respect for the link between the meanings of the conjugal act and respect for the unity of the human being make possible procreation in conformity with the dignity of the person."

tl;dr - no

Additionally, any procedure that kills embryos as you mention is gravely immoral.

"Every saint has a past, every sinner a future."
02-03-2020 09:56 PM
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Rob Banks Online
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Post: #62
RE: What would you do if your wife was infertile?
↑ Agreed.

So what would you suggest to couples who can only conceive through IVF?

Should they break up/divorce? Should they stay married and accept childlessness?

What about cases where a man's wife is infertile and he wants to conceive a child through another woman?

Maybe in Biblical times a man who could not conceive a child with his wife would take a mistress or find a second wife.

Obviously, in this day and age, the option for the man to find another woman (other than his wife) and impregnate her naturally (sexually) is not an option.

Also, if you pay for IVF treatments, I wonder if it's possible to request that they only fertilize one embryo, that way none are killed. Obviously this would probably cause it to take a lot longer to have a successful pregnancy (and it would probably be more expensive). Nevertheless, if you're paying for the treatment, I wonder if it would be possible to make this request. Or would they turn you down?
(This post was last modified: 02-04-2020 12:03 AM by Rob Banks.)
02-04-2020 12:00 AM
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